A writing student of mine wanted to write a poem about some ducks in the pond in her backyard.
I of course told her: No, no, no! I then explained to her that Hemingway is the greatest author ever, and if she wants to ever become a great writer she should not try to express her own personality, instead she should try to express the personality of the greatest writer ever, Hemingway's. Poetry these days doesn't sell well at all, while novels do sell, so choosing the novel genre instead was the first step...
I then recommended writing a piece of about 100 000 words containing
at least three bull fighting scenes and five scenes with an old man alone at sea and if she could find a way to combine these two themes - for example with bull fighting on a ship she could qualify for extra credit. My suggested title for this future epic story was
The Sun Rises Again and Again. Strangely, I haven't heard from her since...
Another (former) friend of mine wanted to make music inspired by Mozart. He claimed that Amadeus is the best composer ever in his (of course, uneducated) opinion and added that there are even studies that show that listening to his music actually make you smarter and more harmonic.
Naturally, I felt that it was
my responsibility to save his musical career. So I pointed out to him that Mozart is both very old and very dead, and any musical ideas he could have had surely can't be worth water
these days.
People today are so much more sophisticated and educated compared to those half-apes way back then. Today we have Computers and the Internet - if Mozart had been alive today he might have been able to use those to produce some excellent popular dance music, but he isn't so he won't. So, forget about him.
Instead - since the
only reason to make music is naturally to make the
biggest amount of money on it - I recommended that he'd listen to the best contemporary artist who has sold the most music. The best (richest) of the contemporary artists on the top ten lists is probably Madonna, so there is absolutely no need to listen to any of the other millions of artists
who are not Madonna.
I then suggested that he'd marry and divorce a man called Ritchie, adopt a couple of children from Africa and get a breast implant. I felt that this was very good advice indeed, but that ungrateful *** didn't follow it one bit! Instead he chose to write and perform that outdated classical music - even though he will
never be as rich or famous as Madonna. A highly illogical decision in my opinion.
I could go on all day, but I think you've got the hang of it now, and are ready to help other people around you with good advice on how to become the best actor, scientist or human ever.
Just try to figure out who
the best actor/scientist/human etc is/was and then make ludicrous assumptions based on copying!